You know who has an underappreciated perspective?
Imagine. You’re this warrior-despot. You’ve just conquered this place called “the Mushroom Kingdom”, sounds kind of dumb, but you’re a giant turtle so whatever. You set to work consolidating your gains, crushing rebellions, et cetera. You expect a bit of terrorist activity, maybe some provincial uprisings. So you build giant fortresses across your territory, make sure they’re impregnable, send your soldiers out on patrol to search out the few remaining guerilla groups and make them submit.
One day one of your fortresses falls. You get all confused, because according to your spies there weren’t even any major rebel movements active in that area. And the few eyewitness reports you get just make things worse. A guy just walked up to the front door of the fortress in broad daylight, killed the guards. When the alarm was sounded, he killed everyone who came to respond to the alarm. Then one by one he killed every soldier in your fortress, walked into the general’s office, killed the general, and walked out.
The rumors grow. Apparently the man walked straight from there to another fortress, a distance of hundreds of miles. In broad daylight. Making no attempt to hide his passage. Killing everyone he encountered on the way. After a week without eating or sleeping, he arrives at the second fortress. Same thing. Walks in the front door in broad daylight, kills the entire garrison, kills the general, walks away.
Your spies in the rebel groups say he’s not working with them. In fact, the rebel leaders don’t know who he is. They keep trying to offer him help, a thousand men, ten thousand men, and he walks right past them as if they’re not even there. They try to give him weapons from their caches, but he just brushes them aside. They say he has never touched a gun, that his only weapons are the leaves and flowers.
Now the rumors get completely bizarre. He is going to each of your fortresses in turn, killing everyone in them, always ending with the general. One of your fortresses is inside an impenetrable jungle; instead of walking through it, he jumps from treetop to treetop like a monkey, fighting as he goes. One of your fortresses is on a distant island. Without so much as asking for a boat, he swims across the squid-infested ocean. One of your fortresses is beyond a vast desert. Sans camels or even a waterskin he walks right through it. When the heat begins to get to him, he kills the sun.
You begin to panic. You retreat to your largest fortress, the one on an inaccessible mountain top. You build yourself a panic room in the very center. There is only a single perfectly linear path towards your fortress. You recall all of your strongest warriors to guard that path. You place entire battalions of tanks, airships, warships. You dig gigantic bottomless pits and trenches filled with lava.
He defeats every single one of your tanks, weaving in between the bullets, sometimes even grabbing onto the bullets and using their momentum to fling him into the hatches of the tanks to kill the drivers. He leaps from airship to airship, killing every one of the pilots and weaving between the missiles. He jumps over the bottomless pits, deftly avoids the lava.
He enters your fortress through the front door. He kills all the guards, sets off all the traps then laughs at whatever they fling at him. Your fortress is arranged as a maze, and he doesn’t bribe or threaten anyone for the plans, he just starts clearing every hallway one by one, brute-forcing the labyrinth.
Your communication link to the outside world suddenly stops working. You pound on it. Of all the times to - suddenly, the hidden door to your panic room swings open. You wheel around, facing your opponent in the flesh for the first time. Then, the last words you’ll ever hear:
"IT’S A ME, MARIO!"